I always enter these shows with a sort of confidence that is apparently just a thin veil covering my true cowering self and then the second I step on stage – lately – it’s like a windstorm hits, blowing the veil off to reveal the frail porcelain-like redhead that I really am.
As I walked to the back of the club I found myself there a little early because I was handed a rag and told to help set up the room for the show.
“But I’m not on staff here”, I would say.
“I’ve seen your stuff before. Don’t quit your day job, but quit comedy, you suck.”
Maybe that’s why I lose my confidence!
None of this actually happened.
So I’m sitting in the back and constantly going over my material, laughing at each point where I thought the crowd would because I’m hilarious.
I apparently should also quit my side job as a psychic.
Lately when I’ve got on stage I’ve been losing my confidence. I’m not entirely sure why though. The last two sets I’ve done longer bits so maybe that has something to do with it. Memorizing smaller bits and packaging them together might be the better thing to do now, I’m not sure.
I had fun on stage and really had a good set, just the crowd wasn’t in to it. I got reactions I wanted in terms of people getting upset by what I said instead of just crying at my appearance like my fiance.
“Made it home, honey!”
“Again?”, she would say.
Confidence seems to be the major component that I’m missing right now. I personally enjoy my material and think that it is smart – it can certainly use some work, I’m no fool – but I can see in the video that I am almost putting a wall up and stumbling over my words. I usually don’t get stage fright but I’m not sure if this is what that is, I honestly think it’s me being in my head too much.
Since my fiance is becoming my wife soon this will be my last show until, at the earliest, July. I’m planning on incorporating some more of my personality and not structuring my sets as a formula for my next show. I think this is a set that I can work on and make stronger so maybe I’ll stick with this one for a while.