The Big Move

My office is being moved, well not just mine but the entire company is moving out of this building and into another one. It’s an interesting procedure and if you’ve never been a part of one it’s much like moving out of your dorm room at college and if you’ve never experienced that I guess you have to ask someone else. Seriously? Have you never moved in your life? That’s actually more impressive than anything else. Keep up the good work!

Moving can be stressful like when, you know, you actually have money on the line and have to calculate how the move will change your daily life and your future going forward. Are you selecting the right area for your social life? Are you going to settle down and start a family here? Is there a Taco Bell right around the block so you can immediately run home afterwards?

All those are great questions that need to be asked because being home is a sanctuary and one that shouldn’t be disrupted. One that should bring you constant joy and the feeling of security. One you enjoy going to at night and waking up in the morning.

The office you work at should be NONE of that.

It’s surprising how many people will freak out over an office move. I mean I know me freaking out about people freaking out about an office move is a little weird, but freaking out over moving offices is weirder. Trust me, I know weird.

The people here are acting like children who are afraid to stay at their summer camp and cling to their parents legs when they come up for family weekend. It’s almost as if they feel it’s okay to throw themselves on the floor and stomp their feet and this will incite someone to run over to them and help them out instead of just laughing in their face as they swipe all of their personal effects in the trash.

This didn’t happen but I really wish it would have.

People have gone CRAZY here. People in a post apocalyptic war zone would have better manners and less cannibalistic tendencies.

We are moving offices you’re not being forced into a nursing home because your kids can’t handle all the times you talk about the Vietnam war and how you got drafted and then kicked out because you have a lazy eye or a “bum” knee.

What the fuck is a “bum” knee anyway? Where did that saying come from? You’re knee doesn’t move, it’s like it sits on the corner all day asking for change and that bandage on there is starting to smell like old McDonald’s fries and ground beef that spoiled.

Anyway, people are crazy about moving offices and I don’t get it.

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